Sunday, May 26, 2019

Self-Esteem or Value of Self? Embracing Truth, Trust, Clarity and Love

Self-Esteem or Value of Self?

Embracing Truth, Trust, Clarity and Love

by Kathi Springman

Holistic practitioners often ask clients what their goals are and what they want to work on. The most common answers are health, wealth and relationships—sometimes all three at the same time. The way that people value themselves has a direct impact on every relationship in their lives, whether that relationship is with money, work, food or other people.

While someone can have low or high self-esteem, what is important to understand is that self-esteem is a product of the ego; it is an ego-driven perspective. In contrast, one’s core intrinsic value of self is something that one knows and understands within the spirit. When a person is able to really comprehend that true innate value, self-esteem doesn’t seem to be as important and the ego can let go of the need for it.

The ego-driven need for self-esteem can give way to an intrinsic understanding of value of self. Giving oneself a voice is one of the best ways to build a healthy value of self. While people do want others to listen, speaking authentically is not always easy; people may be afraid of what someone will think or are fearful of hurting someone’s feelings.

Walking in trust is directly opposite to walking in fear. Relationships build on trust. Trusting builds value of the self. Learning to listen to the self begins to build a relationship of respect. The easiest way to do this is to practice moving through life listening to one’s own inner voice, gut instincts and the spirit within.

Three opposites to fear are truth, trust and clarity. Walking in truth is also directly opposite to walking in fear. There is an old adage, “Fear is false evidence appearing real.” In this sense, fear can be dissipated as people learn to recognize the truth within. The more people walk in truth, the easier it is to gain clarity about any situation. The first challenge is to be honest, especially in those areas that one would rather ignore. The second challenge is to check in and make sure honesty is being honored to ensure that it is authentic. The third challenge is listening to that authentic truth with integrity and to follow through with it. Speaking the truth to someone (even the self) is not always easy, especially if the subject is a sensitive one, but it can be done in such a way so that it is accepted with the intent in which it is given.

The last opposite to fear is love. One definition of love is to accept someone exactly the way he/she is. Learning to do this with others without question or reservation helps us to see ourselves from that same viewpoint. Practicing this idea of fully accepting ourselves and others with love also teaches us who we are at the core of our being and aids in creating healthy discernment in our day-to-day lives.

Putting it together looks like this: Learn to recognize absolute truth for what it is. Once truth is recognized as absolute, trusting that truth becomes natural. From there, clarity abounds and cycles back to recognizing truth and trusting that authenticity—all of which allows us to walk in acceptance (love) with accurate awareness and sensitivity.

Kathi Springman is an advanced certified BodyTalk and PaRama practitioner at the BodyTalk Center of Oklahoma, 1320 E. 9th St., Ste. 9, Edmond. For more information, call 405-216-3611 or visit


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