Stop Hoarding Emotional Trauma: Step Outside the Comfort Zone to Find Release
by Scottie Gee Hines
I am Scottie Gee Hines, and I am a recovering emotional trauma hoarder.
No matter the experience, I used to stockpile every emotion, fear and obstacle. I didn’t feel safe in this world to be me. After a lifetime of struggling with my sexuality and dealing with depression, chronic anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, substance abuse, leaky gut syndrome, adrenal fatigue, body image and suicidal thoughts, things have changed. I have been able to transform, transmute and transcend the spiritual wounds of sexual abuse and assault.
It wasn’t easy.
Having been a victim of abuse and assault, and recognizing that I was gay and different, I really struggled to learn how to love myself. Even if one has the most supportive and loving family and friends—and I do—when those negative feelings arise, it’s easy to start believing that life is a mistake, which interferes with day-to-day living—thus, the pull of addiction takes over.
For the past six years, I have been undergoing a spiritual rebirth, willing to go broke on my healing, using ancient rituals and other therapies to heal from the inside out. More than three years ago, scared and in way over my head, I set out on a spiritual quest to become an Ironman. There was this pull I could not ignore. It was the beginning of the stripping down of my ego. I was humbled to my core, and when that happened, it created a fertile ground for a rebirth.
Some people may never do an Ironman endurance challenge, but there will come a time in life when one is stripped down and humbled to the core. This classroom called life isn’t for the faint of heart. The curriculum is tough, but to come out of it on the other side as the wounded healer is profound. We are each on our own quest to rediscover our power and body wisdom.
It is about saving the self, being in one’s own body and living in truth. As Thich Nhat Hanh, a spiritual leader and Vietnamese monk, says of saving the self, it’s not being afraid to “sit down and have tea with everything”—with one’s own anger, fear, prejudice, sexism and bigotry. That is where world peace will come from, but inner peace must be achieved first.
It’s difficult to be a presence in the world and effect real change if one is not bodily aware and using the body as a vehicle for light. Treat life as an experiment. I’ve been experimenting with my body and mind, finding out what works and what doesn’t work, what dims my light and what makes my spirit really shine. I have been fearless. I’ve taken the fierceness of my Ironman journey and put that same boldness, faith and fervor toward my spiritual healing.
Let me unpack a few of the key modalities that have helped me:
*A mostly plant-based diet
*Plant medicine, like ayahuasca
*Yoga and Pilates
*Muscle Activation Technique
*Sound and light therapies
Trying new things and stepping outside one’s comfort zone can make a difference. When we listen, jump like the fool, take inspired action and embrace our pain as our own healer, the magic happens. It’s helpful to ask one’s self, “Where in life am I risking everything right now? Where am I willing to get uncomfortable to risk everything for something different?”
But before we can become a hollow reed to allow spirit to manifest and sing and work through us, we must learn to embrace the possibility of opening our hearts to loving ourselves.
Let the true self come through and share that with the world. That is what makes a person a beacon of hope in the darkness.
We are here to experience life together, to be authentic and to shine our lights. This is a call to action, to step up, to speak up, to give love a voice, and to lead the way for others by saying “Yes” to one’s own healing, and showing love and compassion and kindness.
The recipe for freedom is doing something different. Be sure to lean in with the heart wide open.
People should remember they are just one “yes” away from experiencing ultimate freedom.
Scottie Gee Hines is a transformational speaker and a reporter for KFOR-TV. For more information, visit ScottieGeeHines.com. Tune in to his podcasts on iTunes and Stitcher